I don’t know about you, but I have collected many, MANY books over my reading years to the point where people have started noticing. You see I have an addiction to buying books. I literally can’t stop. It’s become such a big problem for me that on my last birthday I had to ask for a bigger bookshelf instead of more books … the tragedy.
Anyways, now I have this huge (but beautiful) bookshelf in my bedroom overflowing with books and I don’t know what to do with it (because apparently reading the books is too obvious). So I took tons of pictures from ever single angle possible and posted them ALL over social media (covers eyes in shame). This was the biggest mistake ever. Now there are people messaging me left, right and center.
O.M.G. I did NOT know you read books
wow did u read ALL of those
u need to recommend me a book because I can never find any
It went on and on and on. If I could go back in time and not post those pictures I would. (screams to the universe: I’ll take a redo over here please)
BUT the question I got the most was something straight out of my nightmares.
c a n I b o r r o w o n e ?
(burrows under blankets and never comes out) Why do people ask this? Like seriously.
Can’t you see that all of my books are in perfect condition? No, the answer is no! Because the moment I get the borrowed book back something is wrong. The cover won’t sit flat, the spine is creased (single tear falls on cheek), pages are dogeared (WHY), coffee has stained the perfect white pages, etc. In other words, my heart will break into a million pieces. All that time spent looking for the most perfect edition of the book is wasted, completely wasted.
Therefore, I have been forced to create this list of Rules For Borrowing My Books:
Know which book you want to borrow (don’t stand in front of my shelf for 30 minutes testing my patience)
Ask before you take it (or else)
Return the book in a timely fashion (I will send a search party)
Use a real bookmark or ask for one if you don’t have any (DO NOT FOLD THE PAGES)
Keep all food and beverages at least 10 feet away from the pages of the book (I don’t want to see your mom’s famous oatmeal cookies between the pages)
And enjoy the book